new york --> ........ o o o o o oo o o o o o o
new york --> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
new york --> .............................
new york --> .......
new york --> there?
new york -->
new york --> {BEEP}
new york --> machine reboot.
new york --> here?
new york --> ^^^^^VVVvvvv^^^^^^--____--^^^\/\/\/\//___
new york --> hello? hi? hello? hi?
banff --> Heather?
banff --> is there anybody in there?
new york --> yes, hi, it's Heather...I'm here...imagining a planet of my own creation...
banff --> we are just getting started. I will begin imagining a planet of...
banff --> its green and blue...not unlike earth
banff --> turquoise water, dense forest and no sign of humankind.
new york --> water and foliage?...
banff --> dense forests with foliage of many colors. A world teeming with life. Most creatures have the ability to fly
banff --> flying cats if you can imagine
new york --> creatures, but not human creatures...they all can fly...
banff --> humans live there to but as equals. Not too dominate but to participate
new york --> mine is similar...mountainous, sandy, bright light...almost unreal colors...
new york --> well-planned cities...part socialism, part fascism, part dada...
new york --> all the citizens are good, respectful, kind...
banff --> Very similiar to mine...we haved now moved to the next --your first sense of self.
banff --> what image do you have about your first sense of self?
banff --> I remember looking for someone. Anxious to find....
new york --> to find...?
banff --> I was somewhere that was unfamiliar and I knew I didnt belong.
new york --> I remember an adult asking me if I wanted a brother or a sister when my mother was pregnant...
new york --> ...and whether my mother wanted a brother or a sister...I odd, why would my mother want another brother or a sister?
banff --> to find something familiar because I realized that not everywhere was mine or safe for me
new york --> ...myself in relation to my mother, to other people.
banff --> That would be astrange question
new york --> As someone separate from them.
banff --> yes it was a feeling that I was always part of my family. separation
new york --> a part of your family, but an individual...
new york --> a premonition that came true...
new york --> small things, like dreaming a homework assignment and then doing it, having it assigned 2 weeks later.
new york --> ...and having it done already.
banff --> I was at work landscaping years ago. As I was walking to the truck out of the corner of my eye I saw the word 'earthquake'. What was actually on the truck was Earthtones. But when I read it I had an odd sensation.
banff --> I almost didnt saying anything to my friend John. But after a minute I told him. Today there will be an earthquake. Please realize that we were in Columbus, Ohio. Earthquakes happen every 10 years or so.
banff --> That same day at 5:30 there was an earthquake in Columbus Ohio. I felt it and was in awe as much as chock
new york --> did it scare you? Or did you feel a connection to your surroundings?
banff --> I felt awe and then was inspired. to experience something out of the linear time. To know that there are many things that we just don't understand.
banff --> we are now on 'experience of going too fast'
new york --> ...too fast...mmm...
banff --> foolishly I held on to the back of my friends motorcycle while on a skateboard.
new york --> foolishly?
new york --> I tried to go on the 'expert' slope the first time I tried to ski...
banff --> I held on too long and lost control. I took three big flying steps, sprained my ankle and then slid a good 20 ft. I still have a nice scar on my hip. We used to call that kind of wipe out "road pizza"
banff --> aahh. yes skiing has given me the same sensation.
new york --> childhood loneliness...
banff --> Another too fast was more of a relationship. years ago... We had only known eachother a few days... I was sure i was in love...well I think I may have moved to fast...because she moved on after my confession...
new york --> Hm...I mostly felt out of place, like a little freak for most of my childhood...not exactly lonely, but misunderstood.
new york --> I have had that experience feel like you're moving at the right pace, but when there's someone else invovled, you can't be sure.
new york --> I would 'transmit messages' in case there was someone else out there who could hear me, someone who was not at home in the world.
banff --> I was quarantined...I had the chicken pox. My mother sent me to my grandparents in the country. 2 weeks without any other children. No one else around.
banff --> What kind of messages would you transmit
new york --> Well, I would ask them to give me a sign, figure out a way to contact me...
new york --> and then after years of speaking in English, I realized what a dumb idea that was, why would someone from a different dimension speak English?
new york --> So I started making up languages and speaking in gibberish.
banff --> It not too late... they may still come.
new york --> That's what I'm hoping for!
new york --> a childhood experience where a need you expressed was denied?
banff --> Driving and having to pee so bad.
banff --> They wouldnt pull over...
new york --> Oh my...that is a very direct need...
banff --> I had to release right there in the backseat.
banff --> it was good. If i remember correctly I didnt even tell anyone...they didnt find out until we got home.
new york --> that's so sad.
new york --> For me it was a general need for privacy that is so hard to get as a child.
banff --> I think that is when I discovered my rebellious nature
new york --> playing soccer and having my father insist on coaching...wanting to sit by myself and not talk to anyone but being forced to 'be polite' to company.
banff --> I was lucky with privacy. My mother had a great respect. My room was my domain. Even when i was a child she would ask before entering.
banff --> we are now on the 'first memory of death'
new york --> that is something I have promised to respect if I ever have children. It's not something children find easy to express other than "Leave me alone".
new york --> first memory...
banff --> My sister's cat Gypsy. I say my sisters cat because I was allergic so I was never allowed to touch her. Though I found ways around that. I had a bucket that I would sccoop her up with and carry her around
new york --> she must have been a docile cat.
banff --> I would also pet her with a stick. When she died my sister cried for days. I remember not feeling that much about. In retrospect it makes me sad because what an wonderful creature that put up with me scooping her and petting her with a stick. I think I feel more emotion now then I did then.
banff --> I remember feeling guilty for not being as upset as my sister.
banff --> She was a beautifulcat
new york --> it's hard for kids to have a sense of finitude since they don't feel their own mortality, just loss.
new york --> my grandmother died when I was 4. I didn 't know what it meant, just that I was going to a funeral.
new york --> I couldn't believe that everyone knew what it meant and they seemed so sad when I said I was going to my grandmother's funeral.
new york --> It wasn't until I saw my dad crying at the wake that I realized it was something sad, that she wasn't waking up.
banff --> Did you feel sad yourself?
new york --> I thought what a dumb way to run the universe, people just stopped working one day.
banff --> I have to agree. Somebody should do something about that.
new york --> I don't think I felt sad til years later when I read stories she'd written about me.
banff --> Thats really beautiful...
new york --> now we're on remember the first time you were frightened by a natural phenomenon.
banff --> i think we are on...Fantasy that we relied on.
new york --> were you frightened by the earthquake you'd seen...
banff --> ok lets go with natural phenomenon
new york --> maybe a fantasy of an earthquake.
banff --> I have been in a few quakes but none of them scary.
new york --> I grew up on the beach and spent a lot of time swimming in the ocean.
new york --> I never had a sense of fear of it until the first time I went in alone and got caught in the undertow and really thought I wasn't going to surface again.
banff --> The scariest natural phenomenon would have to be a tornado. I grew up in Ohio. At least a few times a year the whole family would go hide in the basement because the tornado sirens would be howling
banff --> I found it exciting but I was pretty terrified
new york --> it's scary to see your parents scared.
banff --> My next would have to be when I was caught in a rip-tide I wasnt sure if i would be able to get back to shore.
banff --> yeah very scary.
new york --> feeling like you are not in control of your body is also scary...that natural forces don't really care about you.
banff --> It looks like they are wrapping up here.
new york --> okay. My electrodes are starting to melt off my forehead too. It's hot here.
banff --> Yes it gives you a bit of perspective. When I watch big waves in the ocean I get that feeling of just being a tiny peice of flotsam.
new york --> Well, I guess that's it...nice meeting you.
banff --> I just took mine off. It was lovely sharing with you. How hot is it in NY?
new york --> I can't wait to see the drawings.
banff --> We can continue the conversation via email.
banff --> the drawings are very interesting