meditation: talk response: i love to sing. meditation: talk response: eat a biscuit meditation: read response: i like to read meditation: Remember your first sexual experience. response: I was sitting in the sink in the bathroom and the water from the faucet was dripping on my clit. I was maybe nine months old at the most. My brother was told to stand by me and watch me. I suppose to watch for my safety, but i could feel his gaze. My mother was cooking in the kitchen, her back was to me, further down the hall. I did not know how to express my uncomfortable feeling. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I think I stopped expressing needs before the time I began to remember. I do remember peeing in my pants in first grade because I wouldn't even let myself know I needed to go. meditation: Remember an experience of pure childhood joy. response: once when i bought a kite i felt great. meditation: Remember why you started your current job response: i don't know why i started my current job. meditation: Think about your last experience of nonverbal communication. response: once when i was walking alone at night i stumbled upon a rabbit and we stared at one another deeply meditation: Remember your very first sexual experience. response: in second grade he had a graphic dream about a girl in his class and it was intense for a second grader. he does not want to share what it was. meditation: Remember your very first sexual experience. response: my first was a fantasy of bondage, i was a child in a prison for children, being tortured by having ants let loose to crawl over my naked body meditation: Remember your earliest memory of needing the feeling of fear. response: i dont need it meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: gazing up at the night sky meditation: Remember your first sense of self, as an artist, musician, being. response: I looked deep into my own eyes, in the mirror, and connected with my soul. meditation: Remember a premoniton that came true. response: well i don't know if it was a premonition, but i called a friend and he called me at the same time, after over a year of being out of touch. meditation: Remember the scariest nightmare you ever had. response: I dreamt the world was being sucked into its own core. meditation: Remember a fantasy you relied on. response: I fantasized that my grandfather was someone I could respect. meditation: Imagine a planet of your own creation. response: my planet is mars. it is orange and hot. there are no people on the surface. it is like a desert and the sun is setting. meditation: Imagine a planet of your own creation. response: I am not a god, and this world is my imagination. All I would ask is better Television. meditation: Imagine a planet of your own creation. response: imagine that you are already on a planet of your own creation and that you never knew it until now meditation: Imagine a planet of your own creation. response: A wall of ice shimmers, moving vertically through mist. Inside the wall we make contact through the sense of touch -- kinaesthesia -- analogized through scents of blackberries, red earth, morels, and subalpine fir... meditation: Imagine a planet of your own creation. response: A wall of ice shimmers, moving vertically through mist. Inside the wall we make contact through the sense of touch -- kinaesthesia -- analogized through scents of blackberries, red earth, morels, and subalpine fir... meditation: Remember a fantasy you relied on. response: I had been bitten by a radioactive spider. And when I could no longer contain my rage at the outside world (high-school) I would don my red and blue suit with the big black spider on it, and swing on my webs defeating crime, and beating the crap out of most of my school. meditation: Remember a fantasy you relied on. response: The fantasy "I am in control" is one that I have relied on. meditation: Remember your first sense of self. response: Isee entities moving before me. Low to the ground I can only sese movement that passes by a source of light that gives warmth. The entities are unknown , I am unknown. Only aware.Squares of light, no one atending. meditation: Remember your first sense of self. response: Isee entities moving before me. Low to the ground I can only sese movement that passes by a source of light that gives warmth. The entities are unknown , I am unknown. Only aware.Squares of light, no one atending. meditation: Remember your first sense of self. response: Isee entities moving before me. Low to the ground I can only sese movement that passes by a source of light that gives warmth. The entities are unknown , I am unknown. Only aware.Squares of light, no one atending. meditation: Remember when you\'ve felt like part of something larger than yourself. response: I turned 21 in India. One day after not speaking for 2 months I was standing on a hill and I felt that the whole Earth was under me. meditation: Remember your first sense of self. response: once my next door neighbor and i fought over a rope in his backyard. he wanted to swing and i did too. we fought and i hity him in the stomach. his mother yelled at me and i felt a terrible sense of shame. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: i was in bed and i knew i was not moving-- yet i was flying, flying, the breeze lashing at my face, the foam of the waves beneath me biting into my face--faster-faster-gliding above the water- just a few feet above-- like a bird? but no, like a dolphin- yes i was a dolphin, and then i saw two other dolphins flying, faster, faster, alongside me-- that week, three friends, very close to me, died-- the dophins were their messengers? meditation: Ask yourself why you are working where you work. response: Fame, glamour, and money. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I think I stopped expressing my needs before I began to remember. I do remember peeing in my pants when I was in first grade, because I couldn't even let myself know that I had to go. meditation: Ask yourself why you are working where you work. response: myself said, cause I am living here, too meditation: Think about your last experience of nonverbal communication. response: Black black black black black black grey black scumble slash grey grey stream blue grey grit grind ground meditation: Think about your last experience of nonverbal communication. response: right now I am talking to my computer - and try to _understand_ meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: It seemed that when I was a child, the main method of childrearing was to deny all needs in the belief that rearing children well was to help them live with denial. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: It seemed that when I was a child, the main method of childrearing was to deny all needs in the belief that rearing children well was to help them live with denial. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: i do not go too fast meditation: Think about your first memory of death. response: my birth meditation: Think about your first memory of death. response: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. I was sure I would die and go to hell, and I thought that window wells were gateways to the inferno and I knew I would grow up and end up in jail eating bread and water. meditation: Think about your first memory of death. response: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. I was sure I would die and go to hell, and I thought that window wells were gateways to the inferno and I knew I would grow up and end up in jail eating bread and water. meditation: Think about your first memory of death. response: i remember when my grandfather died. my mother did not talk about it. i remember that she spent many hours on the phone and was sad, but i never really understood why. there was no funeral. meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: skookemchuck meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: when i saw shooting stars in italy, the night of shooting stars. that night i felt wonder. meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: we first arrived in Canada, I was 5.. everything was big, people ate strange food, the were speaking strange languages... the trees were different, and there were 13 !!!! channels on TV instead of only 3. meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: we first arrived in Canada, I was 5.. everything was big, people ate strange food, the were speaking strange languages... the trees were different, and there were 13 !!!! channels on TV instead of only 3. meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: we first arrived in Canada, I was 5.. everything was big, people ate strange food, the were speaking strange languages... the trees were different, and there were 13 !!!! channels on TV instead of only 3. meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: we first arrived in Canada, I was 5.. everything was big, people ate strange food, the were speaking strange languages... the trees were different, and there were 13 !!!! channels on TV instead of only 3. meditation: Remember the scariest or most heavenly dream you\'ve ever had. response: One of the scariest ones I ever has was when I was about 4.. Ît was a recurring dream where triangles would float by my window sill, illuminated from behind. There was no light outside in that neighbourhood. It terrified me because it seemed so irrational and I couldn't tell anyone about it. meditation: Remember an experience where fear served you well. response: fear has never sevred me well. althought fear makes my senses acute. sometimes i have been able to handle stressful situations more aptly thanks to my adrenaline. meditation: Remember a fantasy you relied on. response: dreams become reliable fantasies when you consider the possibility they can be as real as the waking world. A reliable fantasy came to me after having dreamt I could fly inside a great crater in a high mountain top being a siren and feeling the warm ambient of the sea without any water.... meditation: Remeber a time when you were frightened by a natural phenomena. response: saw something in the dark in a park during a full moon. Couldnt figure out what it was but it was glowing. Slowly aproached it step by step and kept thinking it was something dangerous or an animal or something who knows what but when i finally got close enough to actually see it . It was meditation: Remeber a time when you were frightened by a natural phenomena. response: If we consider fear a natural phenomenon, I remember growing up in a family of six children with a mother who believed in disciplining by telling us that there was a man of the moon. He would come with his big bag to take children who misbehaved to the moon...I believed it was true. meditation: Ask yourself why you are working where you work. response: i am working here for the comfort for the ease. for the free lunches. meditation: Remeber the scariest nightmare you have ever had. response: it was about shots meditation: Remember your first sense of self. response: I had nightmares, when I was a young child, which bore no relation to the sunny, safe surrounds in which I lived. I felt alone, as with my existential question, which seemed only to ungratefully threaten my caretakers so I learnt to keep to myself. My first sense of self came with the realization that within myself I carried a darkness and doubt which only threatened my surrounds. So I kept it to myself. But it felt at least as real as the certified reality. meditation: Ask yourself why you are working where you work. response: I work where I work because others seem to enjoy me being there and that makes me feel good meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: hi brendon meditation: Ask yourself why you are working where you work. response: It is fear at first as the basic idea of thought on what I do is potentially depressing. In a sense asll I do now goes back to a divorce that occurred some 15 years ago where I left behind all that I'd done to that point both as to love and work. I was a research scientist. I( was married (with children). Not Frank Sinatra. Then I switched to real estate and unmarried but still with children. I have no way of knowing whether this is my real situation or a story I wrote for myself and others. With time I tired of real estate and became willing to deal with science again and sick of dealing with adults so I became a teacher of high school students. (is this real or a myth?). So now I do teach but am thinking again of doing scientific research on the side(should be possible). Or maybe teaching in a different country (currentry) mostly to be there not so much to teach. So I do my current job for such reasons that flowed out of my history but I do love teaching. Another side possibility is teaching teachers about science (I have some unusal ways of looking at things that have evolved from my years of teaching basic science (what science itself is, how it is orghanized, not what- it says about phenomena) and mixing it with understandings I have gained from years of hobbyist interest in literary criticsm and all it encompasses (feminist theory, deconstruction, Marxist theory, new historical criticism). Am I interesting enoughj for myself? For the reader? Does anyone ever read this? meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: everything meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I became very interested in having a racing bicycle and I had some money for it. not all I needed. So. I asked my father for the rest of the money. My father did not agree on my having the bicycle> He tried to convince me that a racing bicycle was dangerous. it would have taken too much time away from school work, and that the sport wa not the best for me. We had many discussions over many days and weeks. I remained unconvinced and still thought that I wanted to own that racing bicycle. The bicycle I had was just for short hauls for both utilitarian reasons and travel but it was the racing environment that I longed for. That need remained unfulfilled for another two years, as I became seriously sick and then I had to recuperate. My father relented later and in the meantime I had also the money, meditation: Remember a fantasy you relied on. response: My father was in his late fourties when I was born. He smoked a lot and had high blood pressure and severe heart disease but I was never allowed the whole story. I remember asking my mother why his face was red and she told me he had gotten a sunburn in the first world war and had not gotten over it. One Monday morning I woke up to learn he had been taken to the hospital. My mother seemed very upset but wou8ld not tell me what was wrong. I asked to go see him but was told children were not allowed to visit hospital patients. He died Thursday morning without my ever having said goodbye. This has bothered me for many years, meditation: Remember a personal experience of violence. response: In 1953 I was 12 and living in Sarnia, Ontario. I had just got my first paper route and my first bicycle and was enthusiastically expanding my paper route. On May 23, as I was delivering my papers down Front Street, just by the Saint Clair River, a huge thunderstorm came up. I found myself coming out of an apartment above a jewellery store to find a red light in the direction I wanted to go. I stopped for the light and all hell broke loose. Full garbage cans fell over and started to roll, making a huge racket, but seconds later the racket stopped. The garbage cans hadn't stopped -- they had lifted off the ground and were floating through the air about a foot off the ground. I made for the indented doorway of the jewellry store and pulled my bike in after me. A second later, the plate glass of the window fell about me and my bike was pulled out of my hand. It flew through the air and disappeared down the street (It was later found about 10 miles down the river), I blanked out for a second or two and woke up about ten feet from where I had just been. I looked up to see the plate glass of a restaurant window two doors down fall out. Instead of hitting the ground, it formed a cloud of shattered glass that came straight towards me. I put my head to the ground and my hands over my head as it passed over. I blacked out again and woke up a moment later to hear stepps running up from around the corner and a man saying, "Oh my god, its a boy." The boy was obviously me. I had been in the dead centre of a tornado that wiped out an entire hotel just a block from where I had been standing. The apartments I had been at a moment before were destroyed. So many trees were down it took over an hour to get to a hospital less than a mile away.I spent the next 8 days there and I was one of the less seriously injured. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of going too fast. response: For a few years, after I got involved with computers, I was going too fast. I couldn't read anymore. I'd pick something up, scan over it with my eyes, and feel too rushed to even imagine absorbing any meaning. I was always in a hurry to get done with what I was doing, so I could get away from the computer. As a result, I was going too fast to be where I was, ever. meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot and it made my mother uncomfortable. meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Remember an experience of childhood loneliness. response: this is where I get to talk about abandonment in my early childhood, no one wanted to keep me especially my mother meditation: Talk about your last experience where you shared something with an animal. response: i saw an osprey on vermillion lakes. we have known each other 16 years now. i am 27. this is more than half my life. meditation: Talk about your last experience where you shared something with an animal. response: i saw an osprey on vermillion lakes. we have known each other 16 years now. i am 27. this is more than half my life. meditation: Talk about your last experience where you shared something with an animal. response: i saw an osprey on vermillion lakes. we have known each other 16 years now. i am 27. this is more than half my life. meditation: Talk about your last experience where you shared something with an animal. response: i saw an osprey on vermillion lakes. we have known each other 16 years now. i am 27. this is more than half my life. meditation: Make a wish for the future. response: i wish we could all get along meditation: Make a wish for the future. response: i wish we could all get along meditation: Remember a childhood experience when a need you expressed was denied. response: I wanted to be held a lot, and my mother was uncomfortable with my need. meditation: Make a wish for the future. response: i wish we could all get along meditation: response: testing!! meditation: response: testing!! meditation: Think about your last experience of nonverbal communication. response: my friend's dog was happy to see me after I'd been away 2 months. he wagged his tail in helicopter circles and licked my nose. meditation: Remember an experience of wonder. response: I feel wonder at the power of love. It's transformed me and my experience of the world. meditation: Remember an experience where fear served you well. response: I was scared I would drown in the sea. I had to use all my strength to swim in. Play turned into self-rescue. meditation: Remember a fantasy you relied on. response: that everything was okay meditation: Ask yourself when you have felt a part of something larger than yourself. response: when I was one soprano in a choir of 60, and we sang Bach's B Minor Mass. I was part of a wave, an organism whose heart beat fast.